So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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