Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
