We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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