:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize