Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
