pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
