she was so not down for the gang bang
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize