well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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