1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize