On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
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