There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
