handjob tips. give me some.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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