You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
