We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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