We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
