I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I've blown a few things in my day
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
only you would photoshop your dick
tonight lets celebrate not being married
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
