Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
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