remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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