there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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