After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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