Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
