Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize