my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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