You just made me feel so damn special
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
