Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Randomize
