The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
he was CRYING into my vagina
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Randomize
