i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
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I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
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Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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