and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
