Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
another moral hangover. fuck.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
