I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
