He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
