she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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