Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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