Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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