I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
