U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
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