If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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