I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
She made me pour olive oil on her.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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