Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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