Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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