I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
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