That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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