i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
