bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
