But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
