my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
