There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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