I accidentally had phone sex last night
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize