my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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