Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
