yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
