I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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