He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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