They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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