My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
