Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
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