I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
