How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
