Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
