hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
